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Mar 23, 2018 0

The Official Nintendorks Top Ten Nintendo Wii Virtual Console Games to Download Before You’re That Thing is D.E.A.D.

While the long running Wii service won’t technically expire until January of next year, this sure as shit is the last weekend you can throw cash at it. As of this Monday, March 26th you will no longer be able to purchase points toward downloadable games on the Nintendo Wii. And while countless articles just like this are indeed popping up across all major news outlets around the world, you, dear reader have come to Nintendorks for stone cold facts. Presented here is a list of the ten Virtual Console games you should probably download after you steal back that Wii from your Grandma.

Go on, get it. I bet she’s sleeping.
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Nov 19, 2016 0

BREAKING: The Wii Launched in North America 10 Years Ago Today.

And boy, are my arms tired!!

In this week’s “you’re getting old” news, it has now been a full decade since Nintendo released their Wii, in effect creating a financial renaissance for the useless peripheral industry. If you were there, you remember: The very thought of flailing around the living room like that Madonna “Vogue” kid while bowling through the TV was all the rage. You were doing it, your parents were doing it and your grandparents were just happy to be included in doing something. The Nintendo Wii was a legitimate cultural phenomenon. And while the company has been through some mighty highs and crippling lows since that motion controlled apex, today let’s celebrate the little waggle machine that could. Here, I’ll go first via vintage low res camera photos:

It was a dark and stormy morning…
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Mar 12, 2015 0

REVIEW: Neo Turf Masters: If Loving This Game is Wrong, GUESS WHO’S WRONG.

There’s been so much going on in the world of Nintendo lately, I have no idea why I even brought it up first thing. From the whole amiibo phenomenon/limited availability fiasco to the release of new 3DS as well as recent additions to various big name software franchises, our favorite game makers here at this site are all over the damn map in terms of customer satisfaction. That was a long sentence, and this one is too as we’re in a critical time for the company since Wii U sales are lagging behind those of even the GameCube at this stage in that system’s life cycle. Yet the 3DS is thriving and nerds are eating each other alive across online auction sites trying to secure plastic molds of Wii Fit Trainer and Mega Man. So how has yours truly been spending the last several months spiraling around amidst all of this high profile chaos?

Tethered to a classic controller playing SNK arcade golf from the mid-90’s like my life depends on it.
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Apr 17, 2014 0

Time to Fish Out Your Parent’s Credit Card, Kids. Super Mario Bros. 3 is Now Available on the Virtual Console! Again!

The final (and arguably greatest) installment of the tubby plumber’s 8-bit adventures is at last up for grabs from both the Wii U and 3DS’ respective eShops. Like, at this very moment. As in right now. #ohmygodwhatareyouwaitingfor, etc. Why have I deemed this news exciting enough to pull my fingers from a self-imposed writing slumber? What can I say, I like seeing Mario plastered across the front page of the site. So what if this NES classic has already been available on the original Wii’s Virtual Console for the better part of the last decade. Let alone to most nerds that still have their old cartridge collecting dust somewhere in the house (guilty). This is a game that is pure platforming perfection and demands to be bought over and over again, especially if you’ve managed to convince yourself that you have a disposable income (double guilty)! Neat new features for these versions of the game include mappable buttons along with the expected off-screen play feature on Wii U, while the 3DS marks the first time SMB3 has graced a Nintendo portable in its (for the most part) original incarnation. At least I think so…something about e-reader cards is tapping at the back of my memory so I’ll have to check in with ANC about that.

You may commence with the bitching about the lack of a unified account system at this time.
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Dec 7, 2013 0

Holidorks Musical Advent Calendar 2013: Ice Beaming of a White Christmas.

Dammit, Metroid Prime 2: Echoes and Metroid Prime: Corruption. Why can’t you two be more like the first Metroid Prime? Y’know, a perfect blend of action/atmosphere and possibly the best example of first person platforming ever. Today’s musical selection is indeed pulled from that initial installment and falls more into the “Wintery” category than a holiday one. Wonderfully atmospheric, I’m pretty sure the temperature in your house will drop about ten degrees when you play it. Let’s have a looksie!
Click Here to Open Door #7!

Dec 2, 2013 0

Holidorks Musical Advent Calendar 2013: Mario’s Christmas Carol.

Super Mario Galaxy remains one of the brightest spots in the Wii’s entire software library. It boasts beautiful visuals, innovative gameplay and lots of really, really good music. It also went a long way toward helping our nation recover from the terrible Super Mario Sunshine tragedy of ’02. As another bonus, Galaxy happens to be the first Nintendo developed game that includes fully orchestrated music made with real instruments, which accompanies the theme of interstellar exploration and turtle murder quite nicely. Today’s track is actually from the sequel (really more like an expansion pack) and is so full of festive cheer you’ll uh…I dunno…go crazy maybe. Can you guess which theme it is? Let’s have a look.
Click Here to Open Door #2

Nov 21, 2013 0

The Legend of Mario: A Link Between 3D Worlds. BOTH GAMES LAUNCH TONIGHT!!!

Sure the actual street date is November 22nd (tomorrow) but that’s for physical copies. C’mon, who the hell even walks inside some disgusting store to buy something these days anyway? Currently both Super Mario 3D World (Wii U) and The Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds (3DS) are doing the backstroke in critical praise, receiving perfect scores from plenty of the major nerd sites. Just click those links and have a peek for yourself if you don’t believe me. They’ll both finally be available to download from their respective eShops at the stroke of midnight (or even better, 9pm if you happen to live on the Best Coast).

OMG. We’re mere hours away from the greatest Nintendo holiday season software releases ever in a long time!

Oct 24, 2013 0

New Super Mario 3D World Trailer Confirms This Will Be the Greatest Game Forged by Man.

At six minutes long, checking out this amazing clip is probably a bad idea for anyone that wants to go into Mario’s new adventure totally unspoiled when it hits store shelves in a few weeks. It is also probably NSF anyone that only has $60 dollars to their name. Super Mario 3D World is coming to us courtesy of the same team responsible for the 2 Galaxy installments on Wii and (obviously) Super Mario 3D Land for the 3DS. In other words, from the people that make the best Mario games. This extended trailer boasts a piece of software that is so jam-packed full of power ups, beautiful new stages and nods to classic entries in the series’ history that I’m calling it now: Super Mario 3D World will be the most fun you will ever have in your entire life. Go on, take a look.