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Mar 30, 2018 0

The Original Arcade Punch-Out!! Makes its Nintendo Home Console Debut and I’ve Never Felt More Alive.

Nintendo Switch owners, congratulations. Your system is now once again home to GOTY, only the year is 1984 and some of you weren’t born yet. But I certainly was and just about to turn five when my eyes were drawn to the glow of that Punch-Out!! arcade machine in a dark corner at Chuck E. Cheese. Legend has it, this was the first Nintendo game I ever played in my life, setting off a chain reaction that’s led me to this very moment, typing out these words for Nintendorks. Not gonna lie, I never thought this would happen. I’ve been dreaming of owning this game at home for decades, wishing Nintendo would embrace their sordid coin-op history and give these titles back to the people. And now, here it is. Somewhere out there, Genyo Takeda is smiling.

Oh in Japan, probably. He’s still alive.
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Nov 11, 2016 0

The NES Classic Mini is Finally Here!! Unavailable Anywhere on Earth.

The release of the NES Classic Mini has indeed turned out to be both a blessing and a curse for fans eager to get their hands on the retro console. Having sold out within moments of stores opening across the country and already going for ridiculously inflated prices on various auction sites, it’s safe to say Nintendo’s new tiny system is poised to become the must have item for the 2016 holiday season. And it isn’t hard to see why: With 30 classic 8-bit games built in and displayed in glorious HD (along with a CRT option for the purists), perfectly replicated control pads and a real “d’aww” factor, the Mini is breaking nerd hearts everywhere due to its limited initial production run.

Oh, except for mine. Because I got one.

I’m looking at it right now.
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Apr 8, 2014 0

A Slightly Less Than Half Assed Glance at the Nintendo Direct Smash Bros. Presentation (4.8.14)

Plenty of tasty details were revealed today for those of you who can’t wait to play the same game you already own 3 versions of. There’s been nonstop speculation amongst certain nerd circles as to when (if ever) the new Smash Bros. entries would be released and this afternoon, lead director Masahiro Sakurai spilled the wasabi with some concrete-ish info. Apparently the 3DS iteration of Nintendo’s popular fighting franchise will hit the portable during this calendar year’s Summer months while the Wii U version will be pushed back to 2015 sometime this Winter. This is sort of an odd move considering the 3DS is by far the more successful of Nintendo’s current platforms and there’s the potential for fatigue by the time the home console installment rolls in but eh, whatevs. The real news here is that aside from graduating from assist trophy to playable character, Little Mac has an optional skin that replicates his wire-frame look found in the original Punch-Out!! arcade game!!

OH MY GOD.
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Apr 24, 2013 0

Miiverse Can Now Be Accessed Through Any Web Browser. “Should Have Been There Since Day One” Says Internet Stupid Head.

Well, the headline says it all. Its now possible for Miiverse users to browse the feature anywhere the good old internet is available. Certainly not the most life altering event to come along but a welcome function as I can never run out of ways to kill time when I’m supposed to actually be working. The really cool part is that we have access to screenshots that we take in the games we play. I know this is something that has been easy to accomplish for years amongst more tech savvy nerds than I but hey, just let me do my thing. In fact, here…have a look at some shots I’ve taken these past few months:
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Mar 20, 2013 0

And the 30 Cent Hits Continue to Land on Wii U: Here’s Comes Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!!

There’s a strange and unusual obsession pumping through my brain regarding the Punch-Out!! series despite the fact that I’ve never in my entire life beaten the NES incarnation (Old Man Popinski it seems, will forever have my number). I’m pretty sure this fascination started back when the Chuck E. Cheese pizzeria I used to frequent as a kid taught me my first lesson in how to knock out an ethnic stereotype. Oh, and they also had the original arcade cabinet hanging around back near the skee-ball machines. There was something really special about that wireframed Little Mac you controlled and those larger than life enemy sprites at your fists’ disposal. It made the inevitable home console adaptation a must own which offered the added bonus of including the at the time world heavyweight champion Mike Tyson as the end boss of the entire game. That unfortunately didn’t last of course and after a few years “Iron” Mike was permanently replaced with some generic cracker going by the name of Mr. Dream. Turns out Nintendo decided to not renew the real life champ’s contract because they weren’t 100% cool with all of that wife-beating stuff. I guess that makes sense. Good thing they jumped ship before the public display of cannibalism.
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