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Mar 3, 2020 0

Happy 3rd Birthday, Nintendo Switch!! *Ahem* Spit That Out of Your Mouth Please.

Can you believe it’s already been three years since Nintendo launched the Switch? Boy, time sure does fly when you’re drowning in a backlog of unplayed games huh? I can remember the night clearly, standing in line amongst dozens of other dorks, freezing my mushrooms off in the San Francisco wind. The excitement was palpable as we watched that clock count down until midnight and I couldn’t wait to throw a nice chunk of change at a Switch console, copy of Breath of the Wild, pro controller and Zelda, GuardianLinkLink Rider and Bokoblin amiibo (not to mention somewhere in the neighborhood of 4-7 Fieldwork IPA’s and probably a late night slice). To celebrate Nintendo’s hybrid console entering its middle age (in typical Nintendo system years that is), I thought it would be fun to take a look at precisely which titles I’ve spent the most time playing during these past 156 weeks.

Why yes, that is my idea of fun!

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Jun 9, 2018 0

Nintendo Switch REVIEW: Bloodstained: Dead and Loving It.

Castlevania: Bloodstained: Curse of the Moon is the latest result in the ongoing trend of old timey developers trying to prove to the industry that they “still got it.” Through Kickstarter, some members of the original team behind Castlevania: Symphony of the Night (and subsequent GBA and PS2 entries in the series) got the band back together to develop the upcoming spiritual successor to their Castlevania work Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night. In this case, Curse was actually listed as a stretch goal for that project and developed by Inti Creates (Mega Man 9, Mega Man 10, a bunch of other games that aren’t as good as those two). And since I personally haven’t loved anything in the series since Super Castlevania IV for the SNES, this NES trilogy inspired side-project made the day it was released pure Hell on Earth waiting for that clock to strike 5 at work. But once I was finally home and it finished downloading and that title screen came up and the music kicked in and well…I knew…I just knew this was going to be something reeeaaal special.

I knew it!!
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Apr 21, 2018 0

FIRST IMPRESSIONS Nintendo Labo: NOW You’re Playing with Cardboard!!

When Nintendo first announced their new concept of combining video games with cardboard DIY, I thought it was a crazy idea with a lot of potential to be a massive sales success. I mean, kids love this kinda stuff right? With their damn Lego and the Minecraft and whatnot. But that’s also where I felt that it just wasn’t something I’d be able to get into myself. While the appeal is certainly easy to see, for me, when they’ve released this sort of thing in the past (Mario Paint, WarioWare DIY, Super Mario Maker, etc.), I always wound up having more respect for the creativity at work then actual fun with the experience. So as the launch date approached and the gushing reviews started to flow in, I was still more happy for Nintendo than convinced I needed to buy the thing. But of course, the big day comes and the sheer volume of joy pouring out of various social media posts turns my lack of interest into full blown curiosity. “What exactly is up with this?” I decided to go the mall with the thought that if they just so happened to not be sold out then y’now what? It’s meant to be.

You can probably tell where this is going.
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Apr 8, 2018 0

Toys ‘R Us: Where a Grown Man Can Be a Grown Man Shaking Hands With the Ashes of His Childhood.

But only for a limited time!!

For many children of the 80’s and 90’s, Toys ‘R Us has been dead since they canned that old video game purchasing ticket system years ago, but now it’s official. I’m sure you’re all familiar with the news that TRU is currently on their last legs and stores are closing all over the country. Since I live in San Francisco, this doesn’t really affect my day to day at all as there hasn’t been a city location for who knows how long. But it did feel like like rounding up my good buddy @theminimateproject and heading down to the South Bay for one final shopping trip was the right thing to do. There wasn’t any real endgame in mind other than I wanted to to buy something, it of course had to be Nintendo related, and I needed to keep my shit together in front of the cashier when paying for it. The photoblog which you are about to read is an account of the tragedy which befell this long lasting toy store chain. It is all the more tragic in that I had to travel about 50 miles to get to the nearest one. The events of that day were to lead to the last Nintendo product this dork will ever own a Toys ‘R Us receipt for.

Let’s go shopping!
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Mar 30, 2018 0

The Original Arcade Punch-Out!! Makes its Nintendo Home Console Debut and I’ve Never Felt More Alive.

Nintendo Switch owners, congratulations. Your system is now once again home to GOTY, only the year is 1984 and some of you weren’t born yet. But I certainly was and just about to turn five when my eyes were drawn to the glow of that Punch-Out!! arcade machine in a dark corner at Chuck E. Cheese. Legend has it, this was the first Nintendo game I ever played in my life, setting off a chain reaction that’s led me to this very moment, typing out these words for Nintendorks. Not gonna lie, I never thought this would happen. I’ve been dreaming of owning this game at home for decades, wishing Nintendo would embrace their sordid coin-op history and give these titles back to the people. And now, here it is. Somewhere out there, Genyo Takeda is smiling.

Oh in Japan, probably. He’s still alive.
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Mar 23, 2018 0

The Official Nintendorks Top Ten Nintendo Wii Virtual Console Games to Download Before You’re That Thing is D.E.A.D.

While the long running Wii service won’t technically expire until January of next year, this sure as shit is the last weekend you can throw cash at it. As of this Monday, March 26th you will no longer be able to purchase points toward downloadable games on the Nintendo Wii. And while countless articles just like this are indeed popping up across all major news outlets around the world, you, dear reader have come to Nintendorks for stone cold facts. Presented here is a list of the ten Virtual Console games you should probably download after you steal back that Wii from your Grandma.

Go on, get it. I bet she’s sleeping.
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Nov 19, 2016 0

BREAKING: The Wii Launched in North America 10 Years Ago Today.

And boy, are my arms tired!!

In this week’s “you’re getting old” news, it has now been a full decade since Nintendo released their Wii, in effect creating a financial renaissance for the useless peripheral industry. If you were there, you remember: The very thought of flailing around the living room like that Madonna “Vogue” kid while bowling through the TV was all the rage. You were doing it, your parents were doing it and your grandparents were just happy to be included in doing something. The Nintendo Wii was a legitimate cultural phenomenon. And while the company has been through some mighty highs and crippling lows since that motion controlled apex, today let’s celebrate the little waggle machine that could. Here, I’ll go first via vintage low res camera photos:

It was a dark and stormy morning…
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Nov 11, 2016 0

The NES Classic Mini is Finally Here!! Unavailable Anywhere on Earth.

The release of the NES Classic Mini has indeed turned out to be both a blessing and a curse for fans eager to get their hands on the retro console. Having sold out within moments of stores opening across the country and already going for ridiculously inflated prices on various auction sites, it’s safe to say Nintendo’s new tiny system is poised to become the must have item for the 2016 holiday season. And it isn’t hard to see why: With 30 classic 8-bit games built in and displayed in glorious HD (along with a CRT option for the purists), perfectly replicated control pads and a real “d’aww” factor, the Mini is breaking nerd hearts everywhere due to its limited initial production run.

Oh, except for mine. Because I got one.

I’m looking at it right now.
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