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Jun 9, 2018 0

Nintendo Switch REVIEW: Bloodstained: Dead and Loving It.

Castlevania: Bloodstained: Curse of the Moon is the latest result in the ongoing trend of old timey developers trying to prove to the industry that they “still got it.” Through Kickstarter, some members of the original team behind Castlevania: Symphony of the Night (and subsequent GBA and PS2 entries in the series) got the band back together to develop the upcoming spiritual successor to their Castlevania work Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night. In this case, Curse was actually listed as a stretch goal for that project and developed by Inti Creates (Mega Man 9, Mega Man 10, a bunch of other games that aren’t as good as those two). And since I personally haven’t loved anything in the series since Super Castlevania IV for the SNES, this NES trilogy inspired side-project made the day it was released pure Hell on Earth waiting for that clock to strike 5 at work. But once I was finally home and it finished downloading and that title screen came up and the music kicked in and well…I knew…I just knew this was going to be something reeeaaal special.

I knew it!!
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Mar 30, 2018 0

The Original Arcade Punch-Out!! Makes its Nintendo Home Console Debut and I’ve Never Felt More Alive.

Nintendo Switch owners, congratulations. Your system is now once again home to GOTY, only the year is 1984 and some of you weren’t born yet. But I certainly was and just about to turn five when my eyes were drawn to the glow of that Punch-Out!! arcade machine in a dark corner at Chuck E. Cheese. Legend has it, this was the first Nintendo game I ever played in my life, setting off a chain reaction that’s led me to this very moment, typing out these words for Nintendorks. Not gonna lie, I never thought this would happen. I’ve been dreaming of owning this game at home for decades, wishing Nintendo would embrace their sordid coin-op history and give these titles back to the people. And now, here it is. Somewhere out there, Genyo Takeda is smiling.

Oh in Japan, probably. He’s still alive.
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Mar 23, 2018 0

The Official Nintendorks Top Ten Nintendo Wii Virtual Console Games to Download Before You’re That Thing is D.E.A.D.

While the long running Wii service won’t technically expire until January of next year, this sure as shit is the last weekend you can throw cash at it. As of this Monday, March 26th you will no longer be able to purchase points toward downloadable games on the Nintendo Wii. And while countless articles just like this are indeed popping up across all major news outlets around the world, you, dear reader have come to Nintendorks for stone cold facts. Presented here is a list of the ten Virtual Console games you should probably download after you steal back that Wii from your Grandma.

Go on, get it. I bet she’s sleeping.
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Nov 11, 2016 0

The NES Classic Mini is Finally Here!! Unavailable Anywhere on Earth.

The release of the NES Classic Mini has indeed turned out to be both a blessing and a curse for fans eager to get their hands on the retro console. Having sold out within moments of stores opening across the country and already going for ridiculously inflated prices on various auction sites, it’s safe to say Nintendo’s new tiny system is poised to become the must have item for the 2016 holiday season. And it isn’t hard to see why: With 30 classic 8-bit games built in and displayed in glorious HD (along with a CRT option for the purists), perfectly replicated control pads and a real “d’aww” factor, the Mini is breaking nerd hearts everywhere due to its limited initial production run.

Oh, except for mine. Because I got one.

I’m looking at it right now.
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Sep 10, 2014 0

New 3DSXL designs, not to be confused with New 3DS

Milkin’ it

Nintendo and Atlus just tweeted news that GameStop will be carrying two exclusive 3DS designs. The first features an NES controller design plastered on top, comes in a sweet box resembling the NES itself, and will be out on October 10th. The second is some Velvet Room-looking book thingy from Atlus’ Persona series, tying in with the upcoming Persona Q: Shadow of the Labyrinth for 3DS, a game that looks to combine the Persona series’ gameplay with elements of Etrian Odyssey. Both the game and the 3DS XL come out on 11/25.

Oh, and that Smash Bros. 3DS XL is also arriving in North America, in red AND blue, next Friday. Just in time to hand them down to your kid brother when the New 3DS launches some time next year.

PICS PLZ

Jun 22, 2014 0

Summer Games Done Quick 2014: Real Nerds Finish Fast.

Heads up, cool dudes and dudettes! The annual SGDQ week long, 24 hour a day video game marathon for charity has finally kicked off! These record holders for games spanning just about any system you can think of come together in the sake of charity to do what they do best: Sit around in their own stink for hours staring at a screen. And you should too, because these marathons are fun. At the last one that took place I saw someone beat Super Mario 64 in 20 minutes using only one hand and another dude speed-run through Super Punch-Out!! blindfolded. Needless to say, this kind of thing brings up a lot of heavy commitment issues but it’s so worth it. This season’s beneficiary is something called Doctors Without Borders which is apparently a very good cause. The monetary goal is to hit $450,000 in donations by the end of the week but they actually managed to double that at the last event, breaking a cool million.

Records will be shattered, legends forged, pants shat. It’s all streaming live right now so start watching already by clicking this blue text that you’re currently staring at!

Apr 17, 2014 0

Time to Fish Out Your Parent’s Credit Card, Kids. Super Mario Bros. 3 is Now Available on the Virtual Console! Again!

The final (and arguably greatest) installment of the tubby plumber’s 8-bit adventures is at last up for grabs from both the Wii U and 3DS’ respective eShops. Like, at this very moment. As in right now. #ohmygodwhatareyouwaitingfor, etc. Why have I deemed this news exciting enough to pull my fingers from a self-imposed writing slumber? What can I say, I like seeing Mario plastered across the front page of the site. So what if this NES classic has already been available on the original Wii’s Virtual Console for the better part of the last decade. Let alone to most nerds that still have their old cartridge collecting dust somewhere in the house (guilty). This is a game that is pure platforming perfection and demands to be bought over and over again, especially if you’ve managed to convince yourself that you have a disposable income (double guilty)! Neat new features for these versions of the game include mappable buttons along with the expected off-screen play feature on Wii U, while the 3DS marks the first time SMB3 has graced a Nintendo portable in its (for the most part) original incarnation. At least I think so…something about e-reader cards is tapping at the back of my memory so I’ll have to check in with ANC about that.

You may commence with the bitching about the lack of a unified account system at this time.
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Dec 19, 2013 0

Holidorks Musical Advent Calendar 2013: I Got Yelled At For Humming This Too Much at Work Today.

Something we here at Nintendorks.net were really worried about when deciding which tracks to include in this calendar was forgetting any iconic holiday video game music that was completely obvious. It would have tortured us forever (or at least until next year when we don’t do this again). Today’s pick is one that could have easily slipped through the tracks and I’m so glad it did not.

You’re welcome, Grandma.
Click Here to Open Door #19!