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Mar 3, 2020 0

Happy 3rd Birthday, Nintendo Switch!! *Ahem* Spit That Out of Your Mouth Please.

Can you believe it’s already been three years since Nintendo launched the Switch? Boy, time sure does fly when you’re drowning in a backlog of unplayed games huh? I can remember the night clearly, standing in line amongst dozens of other dorks, freezing my mushrooms off in the San Francisco wind. The excitement was palpable as we watched that clock count down until midnight and I couldn’t wait to throw a nice chunk of change at a Switch console, copy of Breath of the Wild, pro controller and Zelda, GuardianLinkLink Rider and Bokoblin amiibo (not to mention somewhere in the neighborhood of 4-7 Fieldwork IPA’s and probably a late night slice). To celebrate Nintendo’s hybrid console entering its middle age (in typical Nintendo system years that is), I thought it would be fun to take a look at precisely which titles I’ve spent the most time playing during these past 156 weeks.

Why yes, that is my idea of fun!

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May 2, 2011 Comments Off on Donkey Kong Country Returns: Review

Donkey Kong Country Returns: Review

There is a level in Donkey Kong Country Returns that I always boot up to show friends who know nothing about the game. I’ll go ahead and tell you right now that this article is going to assume you either have beaten this game, or don’t give a crap about having certain portions “spoiled” for you. I don’t know how someone can spoil a damn Donkey Kong game, but whatever, some gamers are wound pretty tight. (GUYS THERE ARE BANANAS) Anyway, if I want to show one of my dead-hearted friends that this newfangled future Nintendo technology can still reach out and inspire, I’ll amble my way through level 6-2: “Prehistoric Path.” At one point in this level, Donkey Kong rides a mine cart on the outside of an enormous, rolling egg, which slowly breaks, sending Donkey Kong inside the egg. It’s a really fantastic-looking platforming segment, and each time I’ve shown it to a friend, I can tell that somewhere in their broken, ruined, adult bodies, they remember that stupid joy we can take from a video game.
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Apr 21, 2010 Comments Off on Review: Pokémon Heart Gold

Review: Pokémon Heart Gold

I’ve never been too excited about the idea of “spring break.” When the general public thinks of this weeklong college tradition, they see the equivalent of a late night Comedy Central Commercial, all breasts and wraparound sunglasses and quiet, soft tears shed between peals of vomit. To me, though spring break is about going somewhere warm and sunny, with some sort of large body of water, and I went to school in Southern California, so…where would I go? Mexico? NOT RIGHT NOW. Also, I don’t really need to see sad college girls getting drunk on Coors Light, hooting until they are hoarse, and making porn in a trailer for a hat.
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Mar 29, 2010 Comments Off on Review – Rooms: The Main Building (Wii/DS)

Review – Rooms: The Main Building (Wii/DS)

“Rooms: The Main Building” is a difficult game to review. This is because the game is just sliding block puzzles. That’s it. Hundreds of sliding block puzzles. Yet, the execution here is near flawless. This is the only game I’m aware of that makes sliding block puzzles its focus and it does it so well that it’s difficult for me to hold a grudge. Truth is; it’s just not for me. It might be for you.

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Feb 23, 2010 Comments Off on DRCs: 02-23-10

DRCs: 02-23-10

In honor of Black History Month my DRC responses are written using black text.
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Jan 25, 2010 Comments Off on Review: Tatsunoko vs. Capcom (Wii)

Review: Tatsunoko vs. Capcom (Wii)

I love Marvel vs. Capcom 2. I think it’s one of the better fighting games, partially because it’s less about how to perform fighting moves and more about when to use them. The game, while popular, has a kind of mixed following, however, because it’s extremely chaotic and some people just cannot get into that. “I can’t tell what’s going on half the time because the moves take up the entire screen and also I hate Cyclops,” one now-deceased man was quoted as having said with his last breath. If he was still around, I could tell him that Tatsunoko vs. Capcom is like a calmer Marvel vs. Capcom 2. It’s still absolutely crazy compared to something like Virtua Fighter, but only because it’s incredibly Japanese and not because it’s too chaotic. One of the strengths of this game is that you can tell what’s going on while having absolutely no idea of what’s going on.
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Dec 6, 2009 Comments Off on Review: Nostalgia (DS)

Review: Nostalgia (DS)

It’s odd to feel nostalgic for something brand new, but this is what “Nostalgia” accomplishes. It’s a traditionally made JRPG for the DS with turn based random battles across an overworld with airships. It’s hard for it to get more traditional than this, but it does by focusing the story on adventure and exploration and away from overly dramatic androgynous protagonists. The initial plot here is simple; Eddie Brown must find his father, a famous adventurer, whom has gone missing. In the process; he will make new friends, do all sorts of side quests, and generally waste as much time as any old fashioned RPG character would when you’d wrongfully assume they’d be focused on the mission at hand. Even when plot developments expose new urgent dangers… “No, I’ve got to find this woman’s lost ring.”

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Dec 1, 2009 Comments Off on Review: Need for Speed Nitro (DS)

Review: Need for Speed Nitro (DS)

EA’s “Need for Speed” series is no stranger to just about every game platform ever released. It was always the racer that tried to please everyone and ended up enthralling no one. This year, after a tepid critical and commercial performance for “Undercover,” EA decided to split the series into a serious experience approaching a simulation on the HD consoles, and a more playful and colorful game on the Wii and DS. After spending some time with the Wii and DS versions, “Need for Speed Nitro,” this is looking like a good move.

I wasn’t expecting much from “Nitro” on the DS, mostly because you can count the number of good racing games on the platform on one hand. I am pleasantly surprised. “Nitro” is a solid game, though not spectacular.
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