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Jul 8, 2014 0

PLAYING WITH POWER (Nintendo Toy Impressions): Let’s Have a Look at Those Mario Kart 8 Happy Meal Prizes!

Well this doesn’t happen very often so you’d better believe that made it high time to embarrass myself in public by taking a bunch of awkward pictures! There are NINTENDO TOYS in Happy Meals right now. As in THIS VERY MOMENT. Like, you could actually leave your house and go buy them TODAY. This wonderful occurrence equals yours truly waking up long before his comfort hour to snag the complete lot as quickly as possible. The following post is a blow by blow visual re-enactment of said “collecting” and is jam-packed with half assed attempts at jokes courtesy of our very own brand of Nintendork humor.
In other words, it isn’t very funny at all:

Feb 27, 2014 0

Nintendo Wi-Fi Connection Shutdown Survival Guide

On May 20th, Nintendo will cease operating Nintendo Wi-Fi Connection worldwide, meaning all of these games will no longer be able to access their online functions. Last June Nintendo shut off the Wii Connect 24 service, most notable for its use in sending messages and Miis to friends, in Animal Crossing, and the various Wii Channels, so the writing has been on the wall for a little over half a year now. Well, really longer, as when the hell was the last time you played a Wii game online? That said, maybe you want to wring every last ounce of online-enabled joy that you can out of the little white monolith before it becomes IMPOSSIBLE*. Here, then, is a guide to living it up in the endtimes.
Your Survival Guide Awaits!

Oct 19, 2012 6

Older Nintendo 3DS games make it to eShop- ride a damn horse anywhere, anytime

The highlight of yesterday’s downloadable offerings on Nintendo’s various online stores is the addition of first-party titles Super Mario 3D Land, Mario Kart 7, The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D, and Star Fox 64 3D to the Nintendo eShop. Now people who hate carrying a bunch of cartridges around can spend just shy of 160 American dollars ($39.99 each) for the ability to slap these four games on the SD card in their Nintendo 3DS systems for maximum portability.

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Oct 4, 2012 Comments Off on More Retail Titles Make Their Way to the Nintendo eShop and CRASHMOOOO

More Retail Titles Make Their Way to the Nintendo eShop and CRASHMOOOO

Nintendo has chosen to finally tell us more about what it’s planning for its eShop.

Out this holiday you’ll be able to buy some games that were previously only available in retail, such as Ocarina of Time 3D Revelation: The Return, StarFox 64: Reborn, Super Mario Sonic 3D Blast, and The Great Mario Kart Submarine Adventure. This is great news because we can now say things like, “Nintendo is supporting its eShop by adding its past retail releases to the digital library.” I, for one, would love Mario Kart 7 in a digital capacity. Being able to carry around Mario Kart wherever I go without having to carry a cart around is the perfect recipe for spontaneous Kart multiplayer with hobos. Too bad I already own Mario Kart 7 and won’t buy it again.

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Jun 8, 2011 Comments Off on Impressions: Super Mario 3DS and Mario Kart

Impressions: Super Mario 3DS and Mario Kart


All right, complaineteers, the 3DS’s childhood has been a little rough. Like, it’s a little unsettling that people are listing “System Settings” as their favorite thing to do on the new system. Pilotwings Resort was neat, but short. The recent release of the Virtual Console has been a welcome relief for the two weeks between now and when Ocarina of Time 3D comes out, but all in all, it’s like finding a few more drops of water in your canteen when you probably should not have been put in the desert to begin with.

So, Nintendo’s information-dump yesterday about their upcoming first-party 3DS titles is just what I want to hear. We’re getting Star Fox 64 3D in September, followed by Kid Icarus: Uprising, Mario Kart, Super Mario 3DS, and eventually Luigi’s Mansion. Each of these titles was on display outside of the Nokia Center, and I headed towards two of the titles I was most interested in, Super Mario 3DS, and Mario Kart. Each title was featured in a tent, where dudes and ladies attached to 3DSes stood on platforms (that put their crotches uncomfortably close to your face) and allowed play of the new games. People stood in line outside of the tent, but I quickly realized that the only reason they were in line is that people are dumb, so I skipped the line, ran around to the back side of the tent, and got on a 3DS lickety-split. Sorry, suckers!

Hit that jump for some impressions!
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Aug 1, 2009 Comments Off on The Top 20 Best Ever GameCube Games Ever

The Top 20 Best Ever GameCube Games Ever

In a fit of impatience, I sat down one night and banged out a comprehensive list of the best games ever to grace the GameCube.

This was in November.

Nine months later, I’ve gotten around to actually posting it. Because, obviously, I wanted the world to see it. And by the world, I mean the dozen or so readers who frequent the site. To liven things up, I invited a collection of Nintendorks to post their comments and mock my list. Oh yes, there will be mocking. What games made my list? What will be number one? Are monkeys involved (Yes to that last question). Hit the jump to find out.
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Dec 11, 2008 Comments Off on November NPD: Software edition
Nov 14, 2008 Comments Off on October sales numbers released

October sales numbers released

Despite an almost total lack of interesting software releasing this fall, the Wii continues to dominate hardware sales. Nintendo also finds a respectable position on the software chart – in fact, the entire chart seems to have shuffled around Nintendo’s games with “Wii” in the title.

October 2008 Hardware

* Wii — 803,000
* Nintendo DS — 491,000

* Xbox 360 — 371,000
* PlayStation Portable — 193,000
* PlayStation 3 — 190,000
* PlayStation 2 — 136,000

October 2008 Software

1. Fable 2 (360) — 790,000
2. Wii Fit (Wii) — 487,000

3. Fallout 3 (360) — 375,000
4. Mario Kart Wii (Wii) — 290,000
5. Wii Play (Wii) — 282,000

6. Saints Row 2 (360) — 270,000
7. SOCOM: Confrontation (PS3) — 231,000
8. Little Big Planet (PS3) — 215,000
9. NBA 2K9 (360) — 202,000
10. Dead Space (360) — 193,000

Hit the jump for to compare October to September’s numbers.

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