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May 14, 2013 0

Hey, The Resident Evil Game That Came Out on 3DS Last Year Now Has A *BORP* Now Has A Free Demo Up For the Wii U Version!

Which actually has me really excited even though I played the F-wording S-word out of the portable original what, 16 months ago now? I gave that initial release a glowing review on my previous website which means a good old fashioned, hard and deep double dipping awaits me when the full version is released into the wild on May 21st. There are even some extra bits tossed in as an incentive for those like myself who are already intimately familiar with this game. New stages and side missions as well as finally being able to play as the hot piece of ass intriguing female character pictured above are more than enough to warrant giving Capcom some more money for something that you might already own. At least I think so. But don’t take my word for it, go on and download it and play for yourself. Or just watch a video clip of the demo below. You know what they say: A Youtube video is worth 167 words and 890 characters.
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Feb 21, 2013 0

Monster Hunter 3 Ultimate Demos Appear on Both Wii U and the 3DS! If You’re Into That Sort of Thing.

Personally I can’t really make heads or tails of these games. The “cycle through multiple menus to combine a few herbs and tape them to your shield to deflect a magic beam into your opponent’s forehead” genre has traditionally not been my thing. Still like most owners of the Wii U or 3DS, I’m getting pretty desperate for something, anything new to play. Which of course means I downloaded this for both systems in a heartbeat and ran through them for a bit today. I’d planned on writing up impressions for each but Capcom threw me a solid and made the demos identical. And how is it? Well, kind of cool I guess. Like I mentioned I don’t really have much patience for these titles that require muscling through a bunch of options before anything substantial happens. This means that plenty of the game’s built in appeal is totally lost on me. I accept that and plan on talking to someone about it soon, I promise. But I’d be lying if I said there’s nothing compelling happening here. I guess the concept of HUNTING MONSTERS is one that really speaks to me and it’s just plain nice to have a fantasy world to play in on the Wii U. Visually, Nintendo’s new home console obviously benefits from a higher resolution but outside of that, it’s kind of surprising how well the graphics match up on both systems. I’m not sure if that’s a compliment to the 3DS or an insult to the U. The polygon count could be a little higher but in general, the colors are nice and bright with some impressive art direction. As far as the gameplay goes…well, this is where I’m ashamed to admit that I have no clue what I’m doing. I spent a good solid hour soaking up the scenery and beating the occasional animal to death but I turned the system off without knowing if I’d actually accomplished anything. On a visceral level there’s certainly some fun to be had here but the deeper mechanics are a complete mystery to me. Still, I’d say it’s worth looking into if you feel like it maybe:
Click here to have a look at the official trailer…

Jan 19, 2013 0

Heads Up: That Wii U Zombi Game and Fire Emblem on 3DS Have Free Demos Available Now!

So just hop into the eShop, pour yourself a drink or four and relax a bit while the downloads install and enjoy. I checked out the Zombi U demo a few nights ago and it was actually pretty cool. It kicks off with your character wandering through a creepy old nursery armed with nothing but a cricket bat or paddle or whatever the hell they’re called. It isn’t long before you cross paths with the undead and if you’re anything like me, wind up chomped on and infected. After that, you leap into a totally different person in a completely different area only now a bit more well equipped as you’ve got a hand gun at your disposal. I made it a bit further this time but still wound up a dinner stain after running into a zombie that was wearing swat gear. You read that correctly. The experience was brief but still enjoyable and I highly recommend having a look if you happen to be on the fence about picking this game up. If running around trying to re-murder people doesn’t sound like your cup of tea, then maybe fire up the old 3DS and check out the demo for the new Fire Emblem game that has the underoos of nerds everywhere all in a bunch. Here, have a look at the most recent trailer courtesy of the internet why don’t you?
Click this anytime you’re ready:

One does not simply post images of Mordor.
Oct 26, 2012 2

DEMO: Lego Lord of the Rings is an Adventure in Babysitting

In order to flex my faux journalist muscles I downloaded the Lego Lord of the Rings demo on the 3DS morning so that I can tell you all about it.  As of this week you can also download the demo on your 3DS and be a heroic games journalist like me!

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Jun 8, 2011 Comments Off on Impressions: Super Mario 3DS and Mario Kart

Impressions: Super Mario 3DS and Mario Kart


All right, complaineteers, the 3DS’s childhood has been a little rough. Like, it’s a little unsettling that people are listing “System Settings” as their favorite thing to do on the new system. Pilotwings Resort was neat, but short. The recent release of the Virtual Console has been a welcome relief for the two weeks between now and when Ocarina of Time 3D comes out, but all in all, it’s like finding a few more drops of water in your canteen when you probably should not have been put in the desert to begin with.

So, Nintendo’s information-dump yesterday about their upcoming first-party 3DS titles is just what I want to hear. We’re getting Star Fox 64 3D in September, followed by Kid Icarus: Uprising, Mario Kart, Super Mario 3DS, and eventually Luigi’s Mansion. Each of these titles was on display outside of the Nokia Center, and I headed towards two of the titles I was most interested in, Super Mario 3DS, and Mario Kart. Each title was featured in a tent, where dudes and ladies attached to 3DSes stood on platforms (that put their crotches uncomfortably close to your face) and allowed play of the new games. People stood in line outside of the tent, but I quickly realized that the only reason they were in line is that people are dumb, so I skipped the line, ran around to the back side of the tent, and got on a 3DS lickety-split. Sorry, suckers!

Hit that jump for some impressions!
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Jun 7, 2011 Comments Off on My Thoughts On The Nintendo Press Event

My Thoughts On The Nintendo Press Event


Standing around in the Nokia Center on the morning before a Nintendo Press Event is like a shared Christmas Eve, where you’re staring at your presents and your hopes and dreams are reflecting and magnifying off of each person around you. You hear crazy things (“GTA:V is CAFE EXCLUSIVE”), you hear some pessimism (“I’m going to trade in this stupid 3DS for a Vita as soon as I can”), and every once in a while, you hear something completely idiotic (“Wait, Metroid is a chick?”).

It’s magical.

I’m sorry, Nintendork readers, that the whole world isn’t sent invites to this event, so you all can come to Los Angeles on a perfect spring morning and walk into a packed, nerdy concert venue where all you have to worry about is video games. It’s pretty great.

I attended this morning’s Nintendo Press Event, then, with high hopes. I was nervous. I sat four rows from the front, next to a delightful representative from eurogamer, and a dude who kept freaking out since his camera kept dying. It was nerd central. There were so many fedoras around me it was like an all-fat version of LA Noire, as sponsored by Threadless. There were a ton of 3DSes, and I saw multiple people gleefully watching as they accrued a massive number of streetpass requests. I saw my own little Mii on the eurogamer’s 3DS, and I leaned in, smiling.

“That’s me!” I said, in a totally not creepy way that probably ended up sounding pretty creepy. Around me, the room was just awash in crazy speculation. The studio, as usual, was just hopping (If you aren’t going to the studio for E3 press events, you are just plain dumb). I was ready.

The lights dimmed. The audience took in a breath. An orchestra rose before us.
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Apr 1, 2011 Comments Off on The Nintendo 3DS: Quit Your Goddamn Complaining

The Nintendo 3DS: Quit Your Goddamn Complaining


I am completely confused about what is going on with the world. I think that the internet’s mere existence has turned me into an old man far quicker than I should have become an old man. I just don’t understand the machinations of the internet snark machine. I can’t comprehend the vicious, constant need for the denizens of this interactive global cesspool for new flesh to devour. I’ve read one million articles about the Nintendo 3DS in the last month, and people seem to hate it. I think they’re maybe missing the point. Maybe it might boil down to the fact that it is easy to hate something, and it is easy to hate something in a funny way, and being funny gets your shit read? I don’t know.

I have had my cosmo black 3DS for a week. I friggin’ love it. YES I am writing for a website called Nintendorks.com. YES, the Nintendo DS is probably my favorite video game console of all time. YES, I kind of like thumbing my nose at what everyone else thinks. But I honestly think that Nintendo has created a really wonderful little device and I am tired of all of the nonsensical articles I’ve read, and bizarre videos I’ve seen complaining about it.
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Mar 27, 2011 Comments Off on The Nintendo 3DS launches…. IN 3D!

The Nintendo 3DS launches…. IN 3D!


Today is a momentous day for Nintendo fans because a new handheld has arrived in North America. That hanhdeld? The Nintendo 3DS. It’s like a DS, but in 3D. So it’s the Nintendo 3 Dual Screen.

Wait.

This thing costs $250, but it is the bee’s knees. It comes with a charging dock that is a bee’s shoulder, and the AR games are the bee’s heads. You may have heard complaints about the system’s battery life, and though I haven’t run down my system yet I couldn’t argue against the reported 3-5 hour battery life. It’s a weak battery and, being such a weak battery is a huge mistake in the system’s construction. However, the overall package more than makes up for it.

So far I’ve forced a mii to don my face, battled a dragon on my coffee table, crashed an airplane into the side of a mountain (and watched my mii parachute to safety), ridged around a racer (in 3D!), and took 3D pictures of mice at the pet store.

I’ve utilized the single friends list that shows what games your friends are playing and whether or not they’re online. I’ve played games in 2D so people could lean over my shoulder and enjoy the nice screen and sharp colors. I’ve seen the WORLD. Before this I felt like Bilbo; like too little butter scraped over too much bread. But now I see mountains, Gandalf. Mountains!

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