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Nintendo News

Oct 20, 2016 0

NINTENDO SWITCH: Everything was true (except for the fake stuff)

Hi there.

Nintendo finally showed off their successor to the Wii U (and 3DS??), codenamed NX and officially now christened as Nintendo Switch, with a trailer at 7 a.m. PDT, just minutes ago as I begin typing this. Cartridges! Detachable controllers! Tiny-ass portable two player gaming! Splatoon! A new Mario! Trailer below, for posterity. You probably saw it already elsewhere!
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Jul 27, 2015 0

Summer Games Done Quick 2015: I Want a Gamer With a Fast Hand.

Desperate for an excuse to beat the Summer heat by staying indoors for the next 160+ hours? Well, you’re in luck because the fine folks over at Awesome Games Done Quick have you covered! At this very moment (as in as I tap on this keyboard) the annual Summer edition of their week long, 24 hour a day video game marathon for charity is fully underway. By now you know the drill, top record holders for titles spanning all consoles for the past 3 decades emerge from their parents’ basements to do what they do best: Sit on a couch and twitch their fingers in front of a television screen. Once again the cause is Doctors Without Borders and at the time of this writing they’re already hovering around the 100k mark on the very first day!

Click this blue text right here to hop on over and take a peek or if you’re like me, grab the old Wii U gamepad and stream this sucker from your flatscreen. Here, I’ll even help getting it up and running: In the settings tab on your internet browser, be sure the user agent is set to either the Wii U option or Chrome*. Once that’s done, tap the link provided above and boom, in.

*For future reference, pro-tip: Playing with these settings can also allow you to view other ahem non-Nintendo approved online content.

Mar 12, 2015 0

REVIEW: Neo Turf Masters: If Loving This Game is Wrong, GUESS WHO’S WRONG.

There’s been so much going on in the world of Nintendo lately, I have no idea why I even brought it up first thing. From the whole amiibo phenomenon/limited availability fiasco to the release of new 3DS as well as recent additions to various big name software franchises, our favorite game makers here at this site are all over the damn map in terms of customer satisfaction. That was a long sentence, and this one is too as we’re in a critical time for the company since Wii U sales are lagging behind those of even the GameCube at this stage in that system’s life cycle. Yet the 3DS is thriving and nerds are eating each other alive across online auction sites trying to secure plastic molds of Wii Fit Trainer and Mega Man. So how has yours truly been spending the last several months spiraling around amidst all of this high profile chaos?

Tethered to a classic controller playing SNK arcade golf from the mid-90’s like my life depends on it.
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Feb 26, 2015 0

Donkey Kong Country Returns!… to Virtual Console

Three SNES games back on Wii, finally on Wii U; other Kong shenanigans afoot

As part of the weekly eShop update today, Donkey Kong Country 1-3 have been made available on Wii and Wii U. The classic Super Nintendo platformers were available to purchase on the Wii Shop Channel for a long time, but vanished without any fanfare or explanation about two years ago. They recently resurfaced on the European Wii U eShop, leading many Americans to complain about how much better Nintendo always treats Europe and how it’s always been like this, conveniently forgetting, oh, everything else ever. Yeah, I know, I wanted to play Doshin the Giant, too, people, but trust me: on the balance, we won.
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Feb 13, 2015 0

Friday the 13th Release for “New” 3DS XL Spells Bad Luck for Customers

This morning, stores began selling Nintendo’s “New” 3DS XL in North American regions.  Sales reports aren’t in yet, but the release falling on Friday the 13th™ has already spooked some early adopters of the hardware.

“I just wanted to play my games,” said 9 year old Timmy Green of North Carolina, through a teary eyed face.  “But even though I have the same Nintendo Network ID I wasn’t able to download any of my games.  My dad wouldn’t let me try the system transfer because he says it’s voodoo.”

Little Timmy Green wasn’t the only customer shut out in the cold outer darkness of Nintendo’s mysterious design choices.  Reports are already coming in that the “New” 3DS XL not only requires a system transfer to play your old games, but that it will also take several hours to do so, ensuring that most people won’t even be able to use their new handheld consoles on release day.

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Nov 23, 2014 0


The Nintendo DS turned 10 years old this past week, and furthermore Donkey Kong Country was released for the Super Nintendo *20* years ago.

Happy Thanksgiving!

[Previously on You Are Old:]

Sep 10, 2014 0

New 3DSXL designs, not to be confused with New 3DS

Milkin’ it

Nintendo and Atlus just tweeted news that GameStop will be carrying two exclusive 3DS designs. The first features an NES controller design plastered on top, comes in a sweet box resembling the NES itself, and will be out on October 10th. The second is some Velvet Room-looking book thingy from Atlus’ Persona series, tying in with the upcoming Persona Q: Shadow of the Labyrinth for 3DS, a game that looks to combine the Persona series’ gameplay with elements of Etrian Odyssey. Both the game and the 3DS XL come out on 11/25.

Oh, and that Smash Bros. 3DS XL is also arriving in North America, in red AND blue, next Friday. Just in time to hand them down to your kid brother when the New 3DS launches some time next year.


Those were 500 dollar glasses, asshole!
Aug 27, 2014 0

Dok- er, Pokken Tournament, a Pokémon game in the Tekken engine, announced

Finally, a game where you can battle Pokémon

Last week Nintendo teased a “shocking” Pokémon announcement to occur on Tuesday. Today was that Tuesday, Bison was in Belgium*, and the shocking new game was in fact announced. Pokken Tournament, a fighting game in the Tekken engine (oh I see what they did!) is being developed by Bandai Namco and slated to hit Japanese arcades sometime next year. The announcement came with a short trailer showing Machokeamp [Note: dammit!] and Smash Bros. veteran and Vegas-odds favorite Lucario beating the shit out of each other, which is embedded below.

Pokk Pokk Pokken on heaven’s door