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Editorials

Aug 8, 2017 0

We Are Going to Get an SNES Classic Without Leaving the House

Let’s face it – the only thing worse than trying to find a hot item at a local store is having to camp out and wait for a hot item at a local store.

Do you want to camp out at Best Buy only to be surrounded by people who are trying to flip the SNES Classic on the Electronic Bay or the List of Craig’s?  Do you want to wait in line at Gamestop only to witness an adult throw a tantrum about not getting a hunk of plastic from China?

No! We are going to keep a level head about this. It’s just a plastic box that plays games we’ve mostly already played. We’re going to be calm, ruthless, and methodical about this.

And we’re going to do the whole thing in our underwear.
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I SHALL CONSUME
Feb 13, 2015 0

Friday the 13th Release for “New” 3DS XL Spells Bad Luck for Customers

This morning, stores began selling Nintendo’s “New” 3DS XL in North American regions.  Sales reports aren’t in yet, but the release falling on Friday the 13th™ has already spooked some early adopters of the hardware.

“I just wanted to play my games,” said 9 year old Timmy Green of North Carolina, through a teary eyed face.  “But even though I have the same Nintendo Network ID I wasn’t able to download any of my games.  My dad wouldn’t let me try the system transfer because he says it’s voodoo.”

Little Timmy Green wasn’t the only customer shut out in the cold outer darkness of Nintendo’s mysterious design choices.  Reports are already coming in that the “New” 3DS XL not only requires a system transfer to play your old games, but that it will also take several hours to do so, ensuring that most people won’t even be able to use their new handheld consoles on release day.

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Jun 20, 2014 0

Comment About Nintendo’s Virtual Console Becomes Celebrated by Nintendorks Staffer

There is a lot of frustration about Nintendo at the moment, even from those who love the company.  I, myself, am a big Nintendo fan.  A Nintendork, if you will.  Yet I can see that Nintendo is making some very big mistakes with how they handle the Wii U.  Mistakes that are so obvious you’d swear they were being run by management at Sega.

So it is with great respect that I honor an individual who commented on a piece over at Polygon regarding the state of Nintendo’s “Virtual Console” program.  His name is Mr Daaark.  The three A’s illustrate his excellence with the written word.  Let’s see what he had to say about the Virtual Console.

“If only Nintendo would hurry up and give Nintendo permission to sell Nintendo’s games in Nintendo’s shop.” – Mr Daaark

Splendid.

Jun 19, 2014 0

Off the Top of my Head: Rampage Edition

Factor 5 shutting down is the worst thing that has ever happened to the video game industry.

I still want a sequel to ZombiU.

UbiSoft says they have a couple Wii U games finished, but they’re waiting to release them when the market for the Wii U is better.  I guess that’s where Beyond Good and Evil 2 went.

Is BG&E2 going to have an open world with towers you have to get to in order to unlock areas on the map?

On the 3DS and Wii U I can see when a friend is online and playing a game.  But I can’t communicate with them in any way to let them know I’d like to play.  This is old news, but it still makes me angry. Read the rest of this entry »

May 1, 2014 0

What Have You Been Playing? RIP Bob Hoskins also Mario Golf and a new Kirby are out! (March and April ’14)

Also there’s a new Mario Kart Direct and Smash Bros. news and and and…

Whew. Okay, time to slow down for a moment. Let’s get the important stuff out of the way first: What videogames have you been playing? I slacked off on last month’s thread, so it’s time to play serious catch-up. I don’t even remember how to format these things!

Let’s just hope nothing breaks. Oh wait, this is the break, isn’t it? Oops.

Nobember
Dec 3, 2013 0

What Did You Play? Nobember 2013

For a few years now I’ve been posting a monthly thread (with a few hiccups) in the forums for people to list the games they played in the previous month and reflect upon/say something about them. It’s actually provided an interesting insight into everyone’s playing habits over time, like the fact that I often play a shitload of games for brief moments, leading to a staggering ADD-addled playlist that doesn’t reflect how most of my time was probably spent on 2 of them. This wasn’t one of those months. Anyway, from now on I’m UPGRADING this feature to the front page, since comments go directly to the forum anyway. Have fun, children!

My November list is below!

Zoidberg game, maybe?
Jun 10, 2013 0

Official Nintendorks E3 Predictions 2013 All Rights Reserved

Nintendo will reveal footage of a new 3D Mario game.  It will be called “Super Mario 64 2: This Time Luigi.”  Holiday 2013.

The vitality sensor will make a return.  The pulse rates it collects will be shared with the US Government.

A brand new Legend of Zelda for the Wii U will be unveiled.  It will be given an official release date:  TBA.

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Dec 15, 2012 1

Highlights from the final issue of Nintendo Power

The final issue of Nintendo Power, Volume 285, hit newsstands on Tuesday, and my subscriber copy has still not shown up. I reported the issue missing, and as consolation Future extended my subscription an extra month, to August 2013.

I decided to go out and buy a copy on Wednesday. [EDIT: And my subscriber edition came the next day, naturally.]

Starting with the Pulse letters pages the entire issue is devoted to a look back at Nintendo and the history of Nintendo Power, except for the Reviews section where a good chunk of the launch titles for the Wii U are the sole focus- which seems as nice a place to end as any. Three large features in the middle make up the bulk of the issue: a list of the 285 best games to come out for Nintendo hardware in the US, a year-by-year look at Nintendo Power through the years, and a section of reminiscences from some of the past and present editors and writers. I’ve picked out some things of interest from my read through the issue and they are just beyond that blue link that keeps them from cluttering up the front page, or are just below if you clicked on this article directly.

So long, gay Bowser. (Read More)