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Nintendo E3 Report (7.10.14): Wii U Owners Stunned With the Announcement of New Games!

“Not My Problem.” Says NOA President.

Well, Nintendo’s big E3 presentation came and went this morning and there were plenty of suprises to be had. The most obvious perhaps being that Nintendorks actually has an article about it (heyo)! Many of the details revealed today would be worthy of posts all on their own, but in the interest of laziness and the fact that my computer sounds like a wood chipper, I’ve decided to embrace the list format and focus on the top five bits that gave me the feeling. You know, the dirty one.

Please to enjoy.

5. Amiibo Was the Best Name Their Brains Could Come Up With:

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Nintendo’s big reveal last month that they’d be embracing the Skylanders model by producing figurines based on their popular characters was an exciting one, if not all that surprising. With Wii U sales resembling my bank account, these guys need money and for God-knows-whatever reason, those readable toy things seem to be going over well with the kiddies. In our clip below, Bill “The Virgin” Trinen goes over just how they actually work which was nice to finally see, although I still don’t think I get it. Unfortunately this will probably not prevent yours truly from knocking over toddlers to reach for that last Wii Fit trainer.

4. Kirby: Canvas Curse (aka the BEST Kirby Game) FINALLY Gets a Sequel:

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Kirby: Canvas Curse for the DS remains one of my fondest experiences with that system. It had a clever mechanic, charming atmosphere, fun control and wonderful music. Other Kirby games, why can’t you be more like that Kirby game? It’s for this reason that today’s announcement of The Rainbow Curse was so welcome. Featuring a really neat looking “made from clay” aesthetic, I’m-a be all over this bad boy.

3. Yoshi’s Wooly World Is Something I refuse to Say Out Loud:

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Curiously absent from Nintendo Direct presentations for a while, this sequel to Kirby’s Epic Yarn that is apparently the new Yoshi game returns with a new title and closer look at the actual gameplay. While the art style is absolutely gorgeous, it still has this feeling of redundancy and I can’t help but feel mildly underwhelmed.

It will be a day one purchase.

2. Splatoon = Double Dare: The Home Game:

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By far the biggest surprise of the day was the announcement of this foray into 3D run n’ gun territory with a Nintendo twist. Teams of players take each other on via super soakers loaded with different colored ink and have the ability to transform into squids for quick travel. I have to say, this one looks like a lot of fun and has some serious potential to become the go-to party game for the system. If you happen to know anyone else that owns a Wii U of course.

1. The Legend of Zelda Wii U: Something of the Something:

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Word leaked a few days back that Nintendo would potentially be showing off something starting with a Z today and that was indeed the case. Featuring an “open world,” the new as yet unsubtitled installment is certainly a looker with a graphic style that really delivers on what Skyward Sword seemed to be going for. Apparently the footage below is actual gameplay and not pre-rendered which means I’ll be excusing myself to the bathroom shortly.

Overall, this year’s E3 was a pretty solid one for Nintendo. Lots of neat stuff to think about and with 2015 being the key word of the show, we’ll have plenty of time to do so. I’ve only scratched the surface of what Nintendo presented, so as that blind guy from Star Trek would always say: “Don’t take my word for it, watch this shit for yourself“: